Bells and cheers

 For the past few months, I have struggled with trusting in God's goodness. I know He is good; I believe it with all my heart. God has proven time and again that He is good in my life.  And yet in this trial I found myself asking "If God is good, why did this happen to me?" A question that I thought I would never struggle with. I have walked through losing family members in different ways and times, going away to college, moving cross country and not knowing what God is doing with my life. But through all that I never asked, "If God is good, why...?" It's not that God has changed because He is unchanging, this test is not something I have encountered before. In the struggle I know where to turn, I turn to God!! He is not afraid of my questions and doubt, in fact He welcomes them. When I run to the Father with my questions, He holds my heart and reminds me His character.  This time was no different. One day when I was really struggling with trusting God's goodness, the song I Heard the Bells on Christmas day performed by Casting Crowns came up on my playlist. As the song played I thought back to last year when I saw the film about why Henry Longfellow wrote that song.  I thought about how Longfellow lost his wife and was injured in a fire, how he almost lost his son during the civil war. A war Longfellow did not want his son to fight in. But even after all that Henry Longfellow wrote:

And in despair I bowed my head:

"There is no peace on earth," I said,

"For hate is strong, and mocks the song

Of peace on earth, good will to men."

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:

"God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;

The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,

With peace on earth, good will to men."

If after all the hard stuff Longfellow could say that God is not dead or sleeping. He could say that God is good. There is a crowd of witnesses in Heaven that have endured trials like mine or harder and have fought the good fight. They are cheering me on. That motivates me to hang on and continue to trust that God is in control. To trust that He is good, and His plan is good. I can hold on to the fact that God is not done working on me yet. 

Philippians 1:6 "Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ"