Seasons

       In New England we have the joy of experiencing four major seasons in the year Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. If you ask anyone "What is your favorite season?" You will get a million different answers and reasons.  If you were to ask me that question I would answer all of them! Each season has something good and a different beauty.  The beauty we see in spring is the beauty of the new growth. Everything is green and new. Yes there is mud and rain but, that just makes the green standout that much more. Bird song fills the air in the spring, animals everywhere are giving birth and hatching. Summers beauty is that of all the flowers that bloom in the summer. Summer is filled with friends, family and food. The sunsets in the summer are breath taking and the nights star filled.  The beauty of fall is found in the changing of the leaves. From green to red, yellow, and orange the tree line becomes a blaze of color. Apples, pumpkins and corn mazes fill the time and thoughts of all. I have found that the more gray the day the more the colors of the trees pop. Winter, the season everyone picks on, has a beauty that can be found in the fresh coat of snow. Winters beauty is also seen in the icicles that hang off of trees and power lines.
     Often life is said to come in seasons, seasons of singleness, married, loss, and happiness to name a few. Just like the seasons of the year  we tend to value one season of life more then the others. In most churches I have been in being single is looked down upon for a young woman of my age. Much like winter is often disliked by those who live in colder climates.  Over the last few weeks the Sunday school group I am in at church has been studying the about dating and the process that leads to marriage. For the first time in my life I am not ashamed of being single. I can now see that God has a plan and purpose for this season in my life just like the seasons in the weather.  Without springs rains we can not have a bountiful harvest in the summer and fall. Without the cold winter months the ground and plants do not have a time to rest. Without the leaves falling of the trees the winter snow would be to heavy for the limbs of the trees. Without summers heat the crops would not ripen, and we would not enjoy the cool fall weather as much.  God has a plan in every season, and a purpose for every season. The times that are hard or difficult help strengthen us for the next challenge. The times of loss help us to cherish the time we have and those around us. Being single is a time where I can help in a way someone who is married or has kids never can. Being single means that I can be there to help my sister with her kids, or my mom with a project. It means I can drive to Maryland for my best friends wedding with little difficultly. Being single does not mean I am less than, there is no one who is less than in God's kingdom. Being married does not mean you do not have the less freedom then a single person,  it just means your priories and worries are different.  If I were to spend all my time wishing for a different season I would miss the beauty and the lessons of the season I am in. Those who spend all winter wishing for spring or summer miss the beauty of the snow. This also leads them to spend the season miserable. If I spend the season of singleness in my life wishing I am married and put all my happiness in the idea of being married then I will not be happy when that happens to me and I would have missed out on all the opportunities that are before me because I am not married. The bible is full of verses about being content and the effects of discontentment on the body. One that stands out to me is "A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones" Proverbs 14:30 (KJV). When all I can focus on is what others have that I don't it is not good for my spiritual or physical health. I have to walk that path that God has set before me and not the path He has planed for anyone else. 

stress, worry and failure

One of the things I fear most in life is failure. In my mind I know that everyone makes mistakes and that everyone fails, but I have a hard time getting my heart to accepted it. To the point that I stress and worry about it A LOT! The last 2 weeks this fear has raised its ugly head once again. I got a promotion at work, now this is something that I have worked hard and prayed for. In my head I know that I am ready for this and I want it, but something in me is afraid that I will make a mistake and fall flat on my face. Even after my bosses reassured me that they were only a text or a call away and that they had faith in me, the father of lies still whispered in my ear that I was not good enough and that I would mess everything up. I listened to them, not only that I believed them. I forgot to listen to the voice of Truth, the one who knows me best and has a plan for me. Instead I listened and gave into fear.  All that stress, worry and fear did was make it so I did not sleep well and caused me to fight a battle that left me emotionally tired and drained. 

But God, in his goodness know what need to happen to get my attention. On the way home from church last night I had deiced that I would hold on for 1 full month, 4 weeks, in this new position and if by that time I was still feeling the same way I would make a change. Did you catch that? I had...  not God, in fact He did not even enter the picture. How foolish am I? But God is still good to the foolish and the weak. The rest of the drive home song after song on the radio was about God and his plan, goodness, faithfulness and love. Songs that reminded me where my strength come from and that God is not done with me. Songs like Francesca Battiselli's Giants Fall, Unspokens' Good Fight and Laura Storys' Look Up Child. 
It is going to be a change, but God is writing the story and not me. I need to remind myself that the Fear is a liar and that I can fight fear when I stand on the promises of God. My only failure was to forget that God is good, a lesson I am slow to learn. 

trials, tragedies and reasons

We all go through trials and tragedies. In those moments we look for the reasons as to why. I have been told that there are three reasons why we go through trials. The first is correction, one example of this is in the life of David. When he sinned with Bathsheba the tragedy that came from that was the death of their son. Next is protective, the trial stops us from making the wrong move. An example of this is the thorn of the flesh that Paul had, it kept him humble so that he did not fall into the sin of pride. The third reason that is given is to teach, for this example we turn to Job. God allowed the trails in Jobs life to teach Job more about God. So what do you do if your trial does not fit any of those categories? This happened to my mom the last few years. In the last few years my family has walked through many different trials. After hearing a sermon on trails a few weeks ago she started to wrestle with God for an reason why. None of the stuff she has been through fit into the categories that were given in the sermon she heard. God gave her an answer in the most unexpected way. God directed my moms thoughts to how Bathsheba and Job's wife must have felt walking through the tragedies they faced. The situations they when through where not of their making, so it was not corrective. We do not see any sin that were stopped by these situations, so not protective. The bible does not tell us what these woman learned about God through these tragedies, that eliminates teaching trails. Why did these women have to deal with the trail? The answer my mom got makes a lot of sense. There is a fourth reason for trails! My mom put it this way "The trials were not purposeful but they were not purposeless either. God did not plan them for me, but he still used them in my life." (Amy Smith) She explained it as if what she was dealing with was collateral damage. That there was a trail in someone else life that was affecting her as well. Much like Bathsheba and Job's wife did not ask for the things they dealt with but because of the choices of others they had to walk though it. This does not make it any easier to walk through the trail. It gives new meaning to the verse "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28 KJV).   We will not always know the reason for the tragedies that happen in this life till we get to heaven. There is peace in knowing that even when nothing make sense that God is still in control! My mom did not know how much I need to hear this truth that God had shown her. A few weeks ago we learned that my Pepe has cancer. For the last few weeks I have been at a lost as how to accept that my family will have to walk this path yet again. It will be hard, but God has plan. I am not called to understand every detail of His plan, I am called to trust and obey.       

Bigger plans

"We are not giving you the promotion but I have bigger plans for you."  That was the way the conversation started with my boss this afternoon. This is the second time I have tried for this and not made the mark. I am glad for the guy who got the position but at the same time I am have to figure out how to take it. 

  This not the first time in the last few weeks were the idea of someone having bigger plans for me has crossed my mind. In church for the last few weeks pastor has been talking about trusting Gods plans and not ours. We all come to a point in our lives where we must choose between our will and Gods perfect plan. Some of the time God tells us " I am not giving you this thing you want that is a good thing. But I have something better planed for you, you just have to wait." How hard is the waiting!! Abraham was told this many times and sometimes he waited and other times he did not. The bible is full of stories where men and women of faith were forced to make the same choices. 

There is a song by Casting Crowns that has been on my mind since that conversation earlier today and that is Dream for You. Here is part of it. 

"So come on, let Me dream, let Me dream for you

I am strong when you're weak and I'll carry you

So let go of your plan, be caught by My hand

I'll show you what I can do

When I dream for you

When I dream for you."

When we allow God, the dream giver, to dream for us the dreams we get are so beyond what we could ever think or dare to ask. So take the disappointments of this life and give them to the plan maker for He is not done yet. 

Here is link to a new song I heard the other day that also has been playing in the back of my mind Danny Gokey -Haven't seen it Yet. This song is making its way to the top spot on my list.