Stand still

All of us have a fight or flight reaction to the things that we are afraid of. I am afraid of the unknown and my reaction to it is flight. When faced with plans that get derailed my first thought it to run, and run far way. The past few days I have struggled with the desire to run. I am not talking like a jog around the block but uproot my life and move halfway across the country type of running. But I can't, God in his wisdom has locked every door I try to open.  I have not been good at standing still, I don't like it. I would rather be doing something then being still. Yesterdays sermon was on enduring and being ready. Pastor Cary said that God has given us each a mission for this time in our lives, this time of pandemic. Mine is to stay put in CT. I am not good at staying put when I can not see the reason behind it. Many places in the bible we  see "stand still". The Jews were told in Exodus to "stand still and see the salvation of the Lord." (Exodus 14:13 kjv)  Job was told to "Hearken unto this, O Job: stand still, and consider the wondrous works of God." (Job 37:14 kjv)  In theses examples they were able to stand because they remembered who was telling them to stand still. Most of the time when someone I trust tells me to do something I do it. God has proven himself to me time and time again, I can trust him in this. I may not be able to see the purpose in this but God never moves with out purpose. I don't have to be inactive when standing still, I am called to love those around me in the waiting. I am called to still serve God in the stillness. This standing still for me is telling my heart and mind to stop looking for ways to get away. To stop looking for the next thing, trying to force it.

Strength

I have spent a lot of time in this blog devoted to fear and trust. How those themes have played out in my life and my faith. I think now more then ever the world needs to hear the voice that speaks truth and to find a love that cast out fear.  We can be afraid for many different reasons in a time of crisis. Questions like "What will happen to the stock market?" "What will happen if I get sick?" "What if my loved one dies?" "How could a good God let this happen?" and "What will happen next?" All of these questions come from a place of doubt, from the place in our hearts that still listens to the father of lies. These questions can show us our weakness. When a young child feels scared or weak they run to mom and dad, they run to a place of safety. We need to do the same!! When fear and lies try to run us ragged we need to run to the Good Father. Having a safe place to rest does you no good if you do not go to it. God has not left us, He never can! God is not weakened by this His strength is perfect. In the last few weeks I have had trouble with my car. First the tire went then a few weeks later their was an issue with the power steering. Both times I ran to my parents and was able rest in their strength. I could have handled both issues on my own but in the moment as I was scared I would not think straight. Panic and fear over took me but as soon as heard my parents the fear went away and I could think again. Their clam strength comforted me and strengthened me. God does the same thing for us every day.  His strengthening hand will sustain and protect us no matter what happens. God is with us in the storm. 

Pastors sermon from this past Sunday was just what I need to hear. I had the main points running in my mind all day. If you get a minute you should give it a listen.    https://ebcnewington.com/messages/fearless/?sapurl=Lyt4NHJzL2xiL21pLytuaHRxYm5jP2VtYmVkPXRydWU=

looking behind, looking forward

2019 is done!! 2020 is just beginning!! New year, new lessons, new mercies and memories  yet to be made. 

This is the time of year we pause  and look back at what happened  and make plans for what will happen. This is something  that we need more of, more times to stop and remember  Gods provision, leading and deliverance. The Jewish calendar  is full of festivals  and feasts  that do this. Three separate  times did the Jews go to Jerusalem to feast, celebrate and remember. 

Today looking  back on what God has done in my 2019, there was a lot of blessings and growing. 2019 brought family back together, added to the family. In 2019 I got back an uncle and his family, and a second cousin reconnected. My family  grew by a brother in law, a niece and a foster brother. 2019 brought  growth  in my job by way of two position changes. I grew in my education  by completing  one year in my bachelor's degree and managed  to make the Dean's list this past year. Each change  brought  challenges and blessings. I learned  that God values me more then I ever do. He allowed  me to visit  friends and grow closer  to others. He helped  me to see that I have to be more intentional about my relationships with him, my family  and friends. 

I know that in 2020 God will continue  to guide  my steps, if I allow  him to. I will trust that he is building  my life the way he has planned. I am excited  about what God is doing in my heart, mind and life. 

Each year I choose  a word for that year to focus  on 2019's word was peace. By focusing  on peace  I saw it in ways I never had. Not only does God give me peace when I should be anxious but he can use me to bring peace in to the lives of those  I interact with. For 2020 I have chosen  the word Build. Merriam Webster dictionary .com defines build  "to develop according to a systematic plan, by a definite process, or on a particular base"( 3rd entry) In 2020 I look forward  to seeing  how God will build my life according  to his systematic plan.