Saturday, March 11, 2017

expected

     "Sitting in a classroom at Bob Jones University working on my business degree."   That is what I would have answered four years ago to the question "Where do you see yourself on your 21st birthday?" 
BUT... 
      That is not where I am, and that is okay. I am at home with my family, working at Quinnipiac University. I have changed and learned a lot in the last three years. I have done a lot too. I graduated Bob Jones University, moved and worked in Kansas. Moved back to CT, moved in to an apartment with Hannah. Quit one job got laid off for another. Sold a car and then bought another car. 
    God has taught me so much in the last three years. I have had lessons in being content, trust, humility, and patients. I had to be content in two not so great jobs. I had to trust God when I did not have a job. I learned humility in having to ask for help and prayer from family and others. I am learning patients in waiting on God`s timing as my dreams change to be more in line with what He has planed for me. 
    As I stand on the edge of what most call "adulthood" I look back and see how all that God has carried me through. It gives me hope and confidence for the future. That He will continue to guide my steps drawing me closer and closer to Himself. 

Image result for jeremiah 29 11 kjv  

Friday, February 17, 2017

waiting

   Waiting, is never easy. We do it all the time. We wait at stoplights, for food, planes, days, events and almost everything. God has been using a person in my life to teach me to wait on His timing. It is soooooo hard.
   I am reading The Devoted  By Suzanne Woods Fisher in the book is a reference to Proverbs 16:9. "A man's heart deviseth his way: but the Lord directeth his steps."  In the book one of the character says this about this verse, "Let things come to me instead of rushing at them as I usually do." (page 109)  This thought continues to run throughout the book. That thought has stuck with me the last few days. I have thought about it from every angel. I believe that God uses everything in our lives to influence us. I have a tendency to rush head long into things, it usually ends with me in trouble. God is using this book and my friend to help me see that I need to wait and pray.  Two things that do not come easy to me. I know God wants me to serve Him while I wait on him to lead, and that He has a plan. All I have to do is trust Him.  So as I wait on God and others to lead, I will pray, trust and serve. I know it will be hard, but God is good and will never leave me. I can take comfort in that.

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

2016 snapshot


 Jesus, Savior, pilot me
Over life's tempestuous sea;
Unknown waves before me roll,
Hiding rock and treacherous shoal.
Chart and compass come from Thee:
Jesus, Savior, pilot me.

 As a mother stills her child,
Thou canst hush the ocean wild;
Boisterous waves obey Thy will
When Thou say'st to them, "Be still!"
Wondrous Sovereign of the sea,
Jesus, Savior, pilot me.

When at last I near the shore,
And the fearful breakers roar
'Twixt me and the peaceful rest,
Then, while leaning on Thy breast,
May I hear Thee say to me,
"Fear not, I will pilot thee."
Jesus, Savior Pilot Me~ Edward Hopper

2016 held a lot of unknown waves for me. I switched jobs, more than once. Lost my grandmother, had issues with my car, struggled with fear, doubt, worry and ongoing migraines. 2016 also held moments of Jesus telling those waves "Be Still".  I reconnected with my younger sister after almost a year with little to no communication. My older sister learned she is pregnant and due March 18, 2017. Dad and my Brother in law helped to resolve my car issues. Sisters in Christ  helped calm my fears, remove my doubt and erase my worries.  If I were to pick a word for 2016 it would be Grace. If I were to pick a name of God`s that meant the most to me in 2016 it would be Jehovah Jireh, meaning my Lord Provides. I look foward to seeing what God does in my life in 2017      


Friday, November 18, 2016

Timing and Thanksgiving

I am often impressed how much God cares for the little details, like timing. If anyone says that God can not be found in the not so good things that happen, they could not be more wrong. To prove that fact continue reading.
Let me start by saying I AM NOT A CAR PERSON!!! now keep that in mind as you read. November 18, 2016, started as any other day, got up did some chores, went to work, and got off of work around 3:30 pm. All in all a great day... so far. As I am driving from New Haven area (work) to Norwich to pick up a 4-Her for the 4-H Recognition night, I hit traffic on I 91 due to an accident a few exits up from my exit. Still no problem, traffic part of life. As I continue on to RT 2 I notice my car acting wired, different, not right (remember NOT A CAR PERSON!). Then I realize that where I hit 55 mph, I smell something that brought me back to my childhood when the belt in the vacuum was not right. If you guessed burning rubber, you would be right. So I did what I always do when I have problems, panic. I got off the RT 2 and to a commuter parking lot and called My sister who always seems to have the answers for my life, #adulting, problems. She calms me down and helps me to think strait again. After looking at the elements of my car that I do know (the tires, coolant and oil) and finding nothing wrong with what I can see and know. I told you I am not a car person. I called my favorite Brother -in -law, who happens to be my mechanic, explained what was going on in the most technical of terms... not! He tells me that I should be fine to drive back roads and that I should get my car into the shop as soon as possible. I get home safely, thank you to who ever made gps, and change to my parents car ( they are in OHIO getting my dad his "service" Yaks.) and continue to Norwich to pick up the 4-Her that has now been waiting for me for like an hour.Then finally get to the 4-H Recognition night. All that to say the reason I know God is working in this is because next week is Thanksgiving break for the school I work in, so no work next week! So this is the perfect week for my car to act up because I do not have to drive from Moodus or Lebanon to Quinnipiac all week!! So it shows me how much God cares about timing every little detail. Psalms 121:1-8 I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; From where shall my help come? 2 My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth. 3 He will not allow your foot to slip; He who keeps you will not slumber. 4 Behold, He who keeps Israel Will neither slumber nor sleep. 5 The Lord is your keeper; The Lord is your shade on your right hand. 6 The sun will not smite you by day, Nor the moon by night. 7 The Lord will [a]protect you from all evil; He will keep your soul. 8 The Lord will [b]guard your going out and your coming in From this time forth and forever.
The LORD is my Jehovah- Jireh = the LORD is My provider.

Thursday, July 21, 2016

My plan vs Gods will

Plans are what hold me together. I love plans and planing. Every night before bed I clue mom into my plans for the next day. Every morning I find out Moms plan and reminder her of what I have going on for the day. Plans work, they are safe and have a sense of comfort to them. When my plans change suddenly or fall apart all together, I scramble to get a new plan and move forward. Sometimes this makes me angry, upset and sets me on a path of worry.  My plans are limited, I only can plan  1-3 days in advance max, Frustrating! ...

  BUT,

Gods will is perfect. God plans every detail of my life to work for His will and desires. I am going to let you in on a well guarded secret, God desires our lives to glorify HIM.  Shocking, trust me I know! One more secret, if you can stand it, God is good and only good can glorify Him fully. Let that soak in for  a minute. We, all of humanity, where made by God, for God. He loves us and wants what is best for us. Sometimes what is best is not what is easy. God has planed out all of eternity. Now I am not going to open the Case File labeled Free will VS Predestination. I will leave that to the Bible experts. God can plan out and know what will happen in 5 minutes, tomorrow, next month and 10 years down the road.  So the hard thing in your life at this very moment might be readying you for something down the road. One of my sisters in her schooling is working on just starting algebra. We are talking N+6+2=12 kind of stuff. She is finding it hard and wants to take the easy route and not do it right, Mom had to explain to her that what she is learning now will make what she will be learning easier. I could not face and deal with the things I am dealing with in my life if I had not gone thorough the stuff I went thorough to get here. 

I found this song to be truly encouraging in helping to work somethings out in my head. Thy Will by Hillary Scott

Sunday, June 5, 2016

planting and transplanting

"The Lord is not through with you yet. You are to bloom where you are planted." ~ Mr. Bridges from Facing the Giants

Revelation 3:8 - I know thy works: behold, I have set before thee an open door, and no man can shut it: for thou hast a little strength, and hast kept my word, and hast not denied my name.

Jeremiah 29:5  - Build ye houses, and dwell in them; and plant gardens, and eat the fruit of them;

" When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window." ~Maria from the Sound of Music

Laid off, new thing to me. I am left totally confused and a little bit hurt. A job doing what I went to college for gone, A job I tried my hardest to make work and succeed no longer mine in the blink of an eye. I am not sure if it is something I said or did or if it simply a matter of fiances. It was be no means perfect; when is life ever perfect for more than 5 minutes? But I learned. I learned more about who I am, and how to be comfortable with myself. I learned that to bloom I need to focus on the good and what God is doing and not on what is going wrong. I learned that some are out to save face and will throw you under the bus even if you are not the issue. I learned what it must have felt like to have people insinuate false hoods about your character.

BUT... God is still good! He is still in control. He is the great planter and he saw that I accomplished what He had for me there to do and now it is time for me to be transplanted. When you transplant something it can be for many reasons. One reason my mom and grandmother transplant plants is to help them grow better. Another reason is to dived and spread that plant to a new part of the garden causing it to grow bigger and more beautiful. So what ever reason God is transplanting me for I know it is his will at work and He will look after me because He will never leave me.  

Sunday, May 8, 2016

Mothers day

Happy Mother's day!!  Many a young girl has been quoted "When I grow up I want to be just like my mom".  Many a young mother has said "I have become my mother!!!"  I for one would be honored to be half of the woman my mom is. My mom takes each card she is dealt and deals with it with prayer and turning to her sisters in Christ and her Lord for support. She loves all of her girls with amazing devotion. She protects all her 4-Hers as if they are here own kids. She encourages me to take opportunities with both hands, but she has also taught me when and how to let go. She wants me to be successful in my own eye, but more importantly successful in the eyes of our God. My mom knows when I need a push and when I need a hug. She understands my need for baking, books and the word of God. When (IF) I have kids I want them to say "I want to be like Grandma"