Merry Christmas!

     Merry Christmas!! You are most likely thinking that this will be  post full of pictures from my Christmas, sorry to disappoint you but it is not. I will give you this link to see a video my mom made, enjoy.
    This post will not be your typical after Christmas blog post, it is going to be about struggle. Mainly my struggle this Christmas. Usually, at Christmas we all get exited to open gifts, see family, eat holiday treats, be with friends and celebrate the birth of Jesus. We have feelings of excitement, nostalgia, peace, happiness and belonging. These feelings make up what we have termed "the Christmas Spirit". For some reason that "spirit" was not in me, I was happy to have a break from school, be with family and eat good food, but something was missing. I was going though the motions of my family's traditions the different parties, seeing the lights in the park, and cooking for the brunch. through all these things I was putting up a front of being happy and exited but I was not.  I could not keep up the act for long. I became cranky, sensitive, short and critical of the ones I had missed for so long. My mom took me aside and asked what was the issue. When I told her she gave me some good advice. She told me to read my bible and talk to God. So, I read, prayed, cried, read some more and prayed again. I read the Christmas story in both Matthew and Luke. I read Genesis 15:1-6, Proverbs 3:5-8, Romans 5:1-11, 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, Hebrews 10:19-25 35-39 11:1 and verse 6. I read 1 Kings 3:6-14, Romans 12:1-3, Ephesians 5:15-17, Colossians 1:912  and James 1:2-6. Reading these passages did not fill me with the "Christmas spirit" but they helped me to allow the Holy Spirit take control and fill me with joy and perfect peace. When I say joy  I am referring to the joy that comes from being a child of the one true King, an everlasting joy, that is not  dependent on my situation but on my standing with Christ. I was better enabled to focus on others than my self. I made me realize for so long the happiness that had come with Christmas before did come from the true source of my happiness but rather my selfish desires. This year the joy I got on Christmas came from remembering who I was to God and his Son, my Lord and Savior. Now I am not saying I am perfect but I am being made into the image of the reason for the season, and that is what is truly important to me and Him.  Happy New Year!