Lessons and Blessings

If you know me or my family you have most likely heard the news that I am moving back home. Tomorrow I will be tuning over the keys to my apartment and leaving Kansas. As I look back over the months since I moved here I can see the many lessons I have learned and the blessings I have been given, most of the time the two were intertwined. I have be blessed with finding a wonderful church body that I will miss till we meet again in the sweet by and by. I have been blessed with several new friends, all of whom I will cherish the rest of my life. I have learned family often mean well even when they do not totally understand you. I have learned how to navigate city buses.I have learned how to speak up for my self at home and in the work place (if only a little bit). I have learned the blessing of silence and the blessing of noise. I have learned what a blessing payday can be. I have been blessed by the wonderful birds that visited the pound out my window. Mostly I have learned more about the God I serve. In the last few months I have had to draw closer to Him and my life is so much better because of it. I do not know what the next part of my life will hold, but I know who holds me in His hand and the people who hold me in their prayers and hearts. I am thankful for all of lessons and the blessings I have been given these last months.         

Day 20~ T

T

1. Teachers Thank you to all the teachers in my life

Day 19~ S

S

1. Samantha: sister 

2. Sarah Ward: Best Friend: Thank you for all the laughs and tough love, thank you for being there and understanding and comforting me. Thank you for all the Ak Ward moments! ( I have still not gotten over the valentines day prank)

3. Sarah: Aunt, Thank you 

4. Sheridan: Friend, Thank you Shorty!

Day 18~ R

R

1. Rachel:sister

2. Rest 

3. Roads

4. Rose:  Friend, Thank you for helping adjust to college and for the tea and strawberries and being a great friend. 

5. Raquel: Boss, thank you for being understanding and a wonderful boss.

Day 17 ~ Q

Q

1. Quietness: because it caused me to value the noise my family make that much more. 

2. Quirks; they make me well me

Days 12-16 ~ L,M,N,O,P

L

1. Love: Gods love, my parents love, my family's love

2. Library: free internet, books and movies

M

1. Mom: Thank you for supporting, loving, never giving up, teaching, being a Godly example, leading, praying and just being there.

2. Meme: Thank you, Thank you, thank you. Thank you for being a great, no wonderful, no amazing (still not right but it will have to do), Grandmother. Thank you!

N

I got nothing. well nice people, not much.

O

aging nothing 

P

1. Pepe: Thank you for being there and caring for me. 

2. Puppies: so cute so cuddly so trainable

3. Peppermint patties: yummy happiness   

Day 11~K

K

1. Karen: Best Friend: Thank you for all the Purple minion moments, coco chats, and movies at your brothers. thank you for helping me learn asl. 

2. Kathleen: friend, thank you 

3. Kaitlyn: Friend, thank you for all the fun times in night lab and snow day lab!  

(does not go under this letter but Thank you to all the veterans for giving the best years of your life to protect my freedom.)  

Day 10~J

J

1. Jolene: Friend, Thank you for picking me up for church and listening, I pray that you will continue  to listen to God's leading. 

2. Jessica: Friend, Thank you for being such an awesome roommate. 

3. Jenny: Best Friend: Thank you, thank you for being you. Thank you for listening and being there. Thank you for everything! 

  

Day 8+9 ~ H+I

H

1. Hannah: Sister, Thank you for being a partner in crime, fun and mischief.

2. Heather MacNally: Friend, Thank you for being a wonderful roowmate!

I

1. Ice cream: yummy 

2. Irises: Thank you Lord for the different flowers you made.

3. Internet: a world of information at my fingertips

Day 7~G

G
1. Grace: free, making me forgiven
2. God's everything: word, charter,mercy

Day 6~F

F

1. Faith: the thing that has keep me going when life gets rough

2. Food: sorry had to but in one typical "thankful for" thing

3. Fish: yummy

Day 5~E

E

1.  Emily: aunt, Thank you for letting me stay with you when I first got to KS.

2. Emily (Rizzuti): Friend, Thank you for being such a great friend in College and helping me to laugh when it was hard.

3. Ear buds: way to listen to the raido on the go.

Day 4 ~ D

D

1. Dad: Thank you for teaching me how to use tool and fix things, Thank you for loving me when I made it difficult. Thank you for never leaving, thank you for providing for me. Thank you for disciplining me. 

2. Donuts trimmings:  a snack, the yummy left over bits from making donuts at work

3. Dollar tree: the only way I can stay on budget with food

Day 3 ~ C

C

1. Catie Turner: Sailor and friend, Thank you for being so encouraging and making me laugh. 

2. Cake: who is not thankful for cake?

3. Cell phone: Connection any time any place to my family and friends. 

4. Countryside: My Kansas church. Thank you for the wonderful lessons from Gods word, and welcoming me into you church.  

Day 2 ~ B

B

1. Bike: mode of transposition

2. Barnes and Noble: place of employment, God than you for giving me a second job that I do not absolutely hate. 

3.Blog: a place where I can record what God is doing in my life that I can never lose!

4. Bob Jones University: My Alma Mater. God thank you for all the teachers, staff and students, thank you for making a place where your word is taught in every class and the students are taught how to live for you. 

      

Day 1~ into + A

26 days till Thanksgiving, 26 letters in the alphabet. My desire this November is to take one letter a day and write a post filled with all the things that start with that letter that I am grateful for. (Note family members will addressed under the name I use most i.e Amy Smith will be under mom, family members with titles Aunt and uncle with be under there first name.) So with all that said. We are off moving like a heard of turtles!

A.     

1. Abby/ Abigail: My oldest sister, playmate growing up, closets friend today, God has used you in my life in so many ways, Thank you for being there when I needed you. Thank you for being tough on my it has made a stronger person today. 

2. Ashley McNally: Sailor,  friend. Thank you for asking to use the outlet in my room two years ago! even if we overloaded the critic. Thank you for caring about the people in society, about me. 

3. Apartment: Space of my own, quite, safe, dry. Thank you God for providing me with this apartment.

4. Angie Carter: Sailor, Friend. Thank you for encouraging me to join your deaf extension. Thank you for all the lunches we shared. Thank you for taking me to the Royals game. 

5. Andrea Lyons: Culinary arts, Friend. Thank you for having me over your home to study. Thank you for all the help you gave during our time as culinary arts students at BJU. 

6. Andrew Vaillencourt: Uncle, writer of Cora's Log, Thank you for all the laughs and smiles that come from Cora's log and your other posts. 

      

fear

Fear:an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. 
Fear robs us of our joy and peace. Fear is a powerful tool in the tool belt of Satan. Fear destroys our trust in the the one true God. Fear eats away at our will, our strength and our hope. Fear blinds us to the truth found in the word of God. Fear distracts us and fills our heads with noise so we can not hear the still small voice whispering words of encouragement. Fear can rob us of sleep. 
Last night I just as was getting ready for bed I was blindsided by fear. No, not blindsided, more like overcome. A fear that I earlier I had stumbled upon came up with such force that it brought my to tears. Not sure where to turn I turned to Gods word. (for all of you out there saying "you could have turned to me." it was at 11 pm so for my east cost friends that means it was 12 midnight I was not going to call you) I started reading verses about how the Lord is victorious in the end, how he cares for his own and how fear and suffering lead us to Him and his glory. I am not saying that the fear is gone but more I came to realize me thinking on it and losing sleep over it was not going to change a thing. I was comforted to remember that God is still in control, He still loves me and cares for my needs. That my strength needs to come from Him. As I final drifted  off to sleep verses that I did not read that night came to mind. 
Those verses were Matthew  6:25-34 "Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?  Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." I still have a long way to go but with God for me I will not waste time dwelling on things beyond my control. Instead I will take them to the foot of the cross, kneel before my Lord and savior who sits on the right hand of God my father interceding on my behalf and leave my fears and worries there and go away filled with a peace that passes understanding.       

What God is doing

 People ask me what is God doing in your life today, or how did you come to be a christen? Well here is the answer.
  I came to know the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal savior when I was about three years old, baptized at age ten. I did not start to grow in the Lord till I was twelve years old. between the time I accepted Jesus and then most of my growth happened my family was in many different churches some were good others not so good. no church is perfect for they are made up of imperfect people. Over the last few years I have continued to learn and grow in the Lord. God has used many things in my life to teach me that his plan is good and he is faithful. God used me going away to college in South Carolina to grown my trust in him and to teach me to lean on him. During that time He brought people in to my life that would be helpful down the road and I would need them to encourage me in some hard times to come. January 2015 I experienced my first margarine, it scared me a lot. But God use the staff and friends I had at bju to encourage me and help me. I then spent the rest of the semester with a constant pain in my head. I had to lean on God for strength to finish the semester and he never failed me. After graduating I moved to Kansas to start a job in a restaurant. event though on occasion I still battle a migraine I know I can turn to God in my time of need and he will be there. I do not mean to say I have never have a moment of doubt, trust me I do, but that I try hard to rest in the fact that God is in control no matter what I go through.  
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.        

If you...

If  you could listen to my thoughts this is what you might hear:

 "Hello, my name is defeat

I know you recognize me

Just when you think you can win

I’ll drag you right back down again

‘Til you've lost all belief

Oh, these are the voices. Oh, these are the lies

And I have believed them for the very last time

Hello, my name is child of the one true King

I've been saved, I've been changed, I have been set free

"Amazing Grace" is the song I sing

Hello, my name is child of the one true King"

(Hello My Name Is by Matthew West) 

if you continue to listen to my thoughts, you would then hear: 

"I've been trouble since the day that I got here

Trouble till the day that I disappear

That'll be the day that I finally get it right

There is hope for me yet

Because God won't forget

All the plans he's made for me

I have to wait and see

He's not finished with me yet" 

(Wait and see by Brandon Heath)

if you wait and listen you might hear 

"Well, everybody's got a story to tell

And everybody's got a wound to be healed

I want to believe there's beauty here

'Cause oh, I get so tired of holding on

I can't let go, I can't move on

I want to believe there's meaning here

How many times have you heard me cry out

"God please take this"?

How many times have you given me strength to

Just keep breathing?

Oh I need you

God, I need you now.

Standing on a road I didn't plan

Wondering how I got to where I am

I'm trying to hear that still small voice

I'm trying to hear above the noise

How many times have you heard me cry out

"God please take this"?

How many times have you given me strength to

Just keep breathing?

Oh I need you

God, I need you now.

Though I walk,

Though I walk through the shadows

And I, I am so afraid

Please stay, please stay right beside me

With every single step I take

How many times have you heard me cry out?

And how many times have you given me strength?

How many times have you heard me cry out

"God please take this"?

How many times have you given me strength to

Just keep breathing?

Oh I need you

God, I need you now."

(Need You Now by Plumb)

If you were able to look beyond what I say, If you were able to hear my silent prayers this is what you would find:

God, I know that you are with me and that you want me here but, it is so hard. There are things that I simply do not understand. Lord, I can not do this alone I need you! You knew that didn't you? You knew by bringing me here I would totally have to depend on you and find my strength in you alone. Is that why I am here? Is that the lesson I am slow to learn? Is that why my heart aches so in the dead of the night? Because you know that in order for me to stop looking at myself and what I can do, you need to bring me to the end of me, that I need to hit rock bottom; so the only diction I can look is up to you? 

If you were still listening to my thoughts at this time you would hear them switch to:

"Well, maybe

Maybe that's the point

To reach the point of giving up

Cause when I'm finally

Finally at rock bottom

Well, that's when I start looking up

And reaching out

I know I'm not strong enough to be

Everything that I'm supposed to be

I give up

I'm not strong enough

Hands of mercy won't you cover me

Lord right now I'm asking you to be

Strong enough

Strong enough"

(Strong Enough by Matthew West)

If you, after all that you were still listening you would hear:

"How many years did You plan this moment here

To show me how You love me

How many years did you plan this moment here

To show me how You love me

It's like I'm seeing for the first time

Like You opened my eyes to show me

Everything I've missed before

It's like I'm seeing for the first time

Like You opened my eyes to show me

Everything I've missed before

And I want more of You"

(Seeing for the First Time by Britt Nicole)

If you could hear my thoughts you would know what a great work God is doing in my life and will not leave it unfinished.    

     

Graduation thoughts

One week, that is all that stands between me and graduation. Between me and the rest of my life. Between me and a career. But God stand with me and tells me “I carried you this far I will carry the rest of the way. Trust me. Lean on me and I will give you strength.” This semester has been hard but He has helped me every step of the way. From health issues to hard classes God has been with me, loving me. The God I serve is amazing! Every day I would ask “how many years did you plan this mount here to show me you love me?” (yes, I stole the line from a song, but hey it is a good song)

It is amazing how far I have come in 3 years. From returning home crying on the first day of classes (read the full story here) to now graduating, Yikes! God has grown me a lot and will continue to do so. And though I am excited to graduate I am afraid of messing up, but as mom told me 3 years ago “you are going to college 2 years early so if you mess up you have time to fix it.” Well I did not mess up that bad these last 3 years so I still have 2 years to “mess up” not that I am planning on it. I am still young and that is the perfect time to serve God and to pursue spiritual things as King Solomon says in Ecclesiastes 12.

There once was a time where I thought I could not handle challenges of college and life because I was comparing how I handled things to how Abby 2 years older than me was handling. But could have not be more wrong! I could handle it I just have a different way of dealing. Abby faces the challenge striating on, no hesitations, but me I take a step back, pray (still working on that one) ask friends to pray for me (again I still have a lot of work in this area) come up with a plan and go forward one step at a time. Neither is bad or good, nor better just different, like Abby and me. Different yet work well together.

Wednesday was the last Wednesday deaf & blind ministry I will go on for a while. It was so much fun! I was able to help run the pine car races. The kids loved it! As the night progressed and as my health issues started acting up, my friend Angie started to worry about me. Try as I may to convince her that I was fine, she did not pay it that much.  I think it might have had to do with the fact that the culinary arts student was not eating, who knows. That the time I was frustrated because I do not people to worry about me. I see now that God uses people in our lives to be his hands and feet not only to the lost but to our saved friends. Thank you Angie.

I want to thank my mom. Mom I do not thank you enough. You gave up your back deck to send me to school. You put up with my random messages and health questions. You never gave up on me or my sisters, you want what is best for us and for us to follow God’s will for us. Even if that means letting us move half way across the country. You taught me to work hard and it has taken me far but you also taught me to trust in God and that has taken my farther. I love you. Thank you for being my mom, thank you for being an awesome mom!

The next few years hold many unknowns but God see them like I see yesterday. My past is HIStory!! My future is HIStory!!!  

Chapters

     Sometimes we refer to parts of our lives as chapters.  Well here I stand having come to the end of another chapter of my life. The chaptered titled College!  Whenever we close a chapter in our story we tend to look back and think about all that happened in that chapter. Like the chapter of  a book each chapter of our lives takes us closer to the end of the story.
     Hebrews 12:2 says "Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God."  This semester at BJU one of the chapel themes has been this verse, focusing on the the first three words "Looking unto Jesus". As I get ready to start the next chapter of my life I will keep looking unto Jesus the creator, author, planner, savior, Son of God and Man, Man of sorrow and the source of my strength for the beginning of my story.
  In the next phase of my life I will trust God better than i have in this because of the lessons He has taught me in trusting Him. In the next phase of life I will build to the foundations my parents have laid in my life and not depart from it. In the next phase of life I want to take all that my parents, teachers and friend have taught me and put it into practice in a way not possible before. In the next phase of my life I want to remain humble, teachable and submitted to God's perfect plan for me. I can not wait to see what the next few years have in store for me!

Never alone

Have you ever felt alone? I have.
Have you ever been frustrated for something out of your control? I have.
Have you ever wanted someone to reach out and comfort you like a parent when your parents are far away? I have.
Have you ever hid how you were feeling so others would not worry? I have.
Have you ever needed to be reminded that God is always with you? I have.
Have you ever lost hope? I have.
Have you ever doubted God's plan? I have.
Do you know that God never leaves you?  Psalms 46: 7 " The LORD of host is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge."
Do you know that God is in control of all? Isaiah 41:10 "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."
Do you know that God is your Heavenly Father is always there to comfort you? 2 Corinthians 1:4 "Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God."
Do you know that God is there to listen and He does not worry?  Psalm 66:19 "But verily God hath heard me; he hath attended to the voice of my prayer."
Do you know that God loves to remind you of His presence? Exodus 33:14  "And he said, My presence shall go with thee, and I will give thee rest."
Do you know that God is the source of hope?  Romans 15:13 "Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost."
Do you know you can always trust Gods plan?  Matthew 6:25-34  "Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?"
Know that you were never, are not and will ever be alone, God is always with you.
 

I will praise you...

While I live will I praise the Lord: I will sing praises unto my God while I have any being.~Psalm 146:2

Sometimes it is hard to praise Him, when a friend leaves and you are not sure you will ever see them again, when something happens and it leaves you confused and weak, when you are hurting and can not find relief. 

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.~Psalm 28:7

But we know that God IS our strength, our shield and refuge in the storms. We know that when we trust our hearts to him he will never forsake us and he will help us. It is for that reason we rejoice and praise Him.

.

In the sweet by and by

We shall meet on that beautiful shore

In the sweet by and by

We shall meet on that beautiful shore

~ In the Sweet By and By: by Stanforth Bennett

When we have to say goodbye to a friend, we can take heart and praise God that He will take care of them as they follow him. We can rejoice in the fact that we will see them again in heaven!

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made:

marvellous are thy works;

and that my soul knoweth right well.~Psalm 139:14

We can praise God for the way he made us both the good and the bad, the helpful and the painful because he knows what he is doing and he never makes mistakes! 

Praise to the Lord

Who o'er all things so wonderfully reigneth

Shelters thee under His wings

Yea, so gladly sustaineth

Hast thou not seen how thy desires e'er have been

Granted in what He ordaineth~ Praise to the Lord by Michael Card

Old year, New year

2014

January 

started my second semester of BJU

 February
Snow days!!!

 March
Hiking with my society!

April
Mom and Dad surprise visit!!

May 

Fly to Kansas

June 

Fun with the Lyons 

July 

Fly home

August

Start my last year at BJU

September

Society induction= water balloons and mini marshmallows!    

October
Lots of Food and fun!

November
Hot coco chats with friends

December 

Christmas means family 

2015 

For this year I am going to follow God's plan for me. Or at least follow where I think he is leading me. Right now that is looking like graduate in May, move to Kansas at some point and be in CT to help celebrate the marriage of my sister Abby and Justin Button. Two quotes that will be my theme quotes for this year are:

"The will of God will never lead you where the grace of God cannot keep you." Corrie ten Boom 

&

"To live will be an awfully big adventure." J.M. Barrie Peter Pan